What Did The Greek Cheese Say When He Looked In The Mirror? HALLOUMI!

When you’ve been on holiday and had such a brilliant time, you don’t ever want to return to reality. You don’t want to go back to work and slip into your usual, old, boring routine. Mine? Wake up, get ready, catch the bus, to catch the tube, to catch the train to work and back again 9 hours later. Sounds thrilling, right?

A week before I was due to jet out of England for a week long adventure in sunny Protaras (Cyprus), I was quite literally buzzing with excitement. I had every right to be. Cyprus is such an amazing place to go. The people are all so friendly and helpful, the surroundings are stunning, the weather is gorgeous, the food is delicious… I can feel my eyes welling up all over again at the thought of it all!

I’m going to stop pointless babbling now. Let me tell you about my trip!

I’ll start with our accommodation. We arrived at the Pernera Beach Hotel in the early hours of Monday 23rd June. Despite everyone being extremely tired from the flight and transfer we managed to perk up upon receiving the warmest of welcomes from a cheeky English Cypriot called Stavros. After a brief but efficient check in and overview of the hotel complex we made our way to our slumber. I’m going to put it out there – I’m British and I’m a girl, therefore I complain fairly easily. There was not a single thing I can point out which would highlight any kind of flaw with this hotel. From the wonderfully friendly staff, to the comfy rooms, to the beautiful surroundings, to the delicious food and all around brilliant atmosphere – everything was exactly what we were hoping for. There are Entertainment Staff that are out and about around the pool every day and in the evenings – they operate a kid’s club as well as try to get as many people involved in daytime/evening activities as possible. Us Brits are quite typical in the sense of not wanting to be involved in these kind of social events – what’s that you say? People I don’t know approaching me asking if I would like to take part in activities that could possibly be really fun? HEAVEN FORBID!! Well, we should all snap out of that. My boyfriend and I became good friends with two of the team members – they made a great impact on our holiday.

People associate many things with Cyprus – beautiful weather, the Troodos Mountains, halloumi, salads, the crystal clear waters and one small, tiny resort at the far Eastern side of Cyprus… You may not have heard of it, it’s a quiet place called Ayia Napa. Who am I kidding? YOU’VE ALL HEARD OF IT! Throwing caution to the wind with a general “f*** it, why not” kind of attitude, my boyfriend and I got ourselves all ready for a night on Ayia Napa’s famous strip. Bare in mind, I’ve been to Ibiza and loved it, I’ve also seen a lot of “Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents”, I thought I was pretty clued up on what to expect… I was wrong. It’s bigger and better (or worse, depending on which way you prefer to toast your bread)! We arrived at 12:30am (still quite early for most people starting their night) and within taking our first few steps were immediately approached by promoter after promoter offering us this, that and the other. Our first scoop? 10 euros each for entry to a bar towards the beginning of all the action, giving us unlimited free drinks for our first hour there before moving on to our next victim. We made our way through the crowd of intoxicated, excited and sometimes spaced revellers to take a wander around. We ended up with free entry to a place called Castle Club. One of the Entertainment Team told us about this place before, she told us we’d see skeletons on the walls and dungeons under the floor. She was right! The theme inside is pretty cool! As I bet you can all imagine though, it was absolutely heaving meaning it was hard to make our way through the crowd to try out the other rooms the club offered. If you’re able to neck back bevvy after bevvy, get yourself down there! You’ll love it!

Scooters. You know what they are right? I suppose you can have a few ideas for what scooters I’m referring to – kid scooters that ride along the pavement at a calm pace. Adult scooters that people who aren’t cool enough for motorbikes round around the roads. And of course, the underwater scooters. Sorry, wait, what? You’ve never heard of those? Neither had I. Just a 10 minute drive from our hotel is a quiet beach where locals visit for a quick dip in the sea and some snorkelling. A little further out, you’ll see a dock sitting seemingly alone and peaceful in the middle of the sea. However, the dock is not alone and it is not peaceful. This dock is accompanied by 4 British men and their 3 companions, each named BOB. Don’t panic. The men are friendly and as for BOB (or Breathing Observation Bubble), he’s as quiet as a starfish! This truly is such an amazing experience, something I doubt I’ll ever get the opportunity to do again. Swim over to the floating scooters in the sea, sit yourself down, duck under the water, put your head inside the helmet bubble and breathe easy! A fully qualified instructor is with you at all times – taking photos, videos and of course reassuring anyone feeling nervous. For around half an hour we were following our instructor around as he shows us what life is like under the sea. We fed the fish, held starfish and were given freedom to explore. If you ever get the chance to do this, DO! It’s surreal!

One of my favourite things to do on holiday despite all the new, fun excursions is and always will be going to the water park. That’s right, I’m a big kid! Ayia Napa is host to the largest themed water park in Europe – simply named, Water World. There were so many chutes and slides to choose from. Whether you’re like me and live for the high and fast ones, or prefer to relax and let the water pull you along the lazy river, or even just like to mess around in the wave pool, there’s something for everyone.

Water. You drink it, you wash in it, you swim in it, blah de blah blah! What about if I said it dances? You’ve probably scrunched your face into a wrinkled mess now that I’ve said that. I’m serious though, it dances. On our last full evening, my boyfriend and I made our way to the Magic Dancing Waters Show. While it was very pretty and fun to watch, please don’t be fooled. It isn’t magic in anyway. It’s water fountains spinning and twirling at different speeds with projections, coloured lights, animation and loud music. It looks gorgeous, but honestly gives me the same feeling as fireworks – after 10/15 minutes, they all look the same right?

As I’m sure you can tell (due to the length of my post), I had a fantastic time in Cyprus. As I’m sure you can also tell (due to my opening paragraph), I’m not exactly chuffed about being back.

Pernera Beach Hotel – you were a dream.
Protaras – you’re beautiful.
Cyprus – I’m coming back for you!

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